It can be difficult for older children to accept a new addition to the family. They can feel left out at the arrival of this demanding bundle that takes up their parent's attention round the clock. No matter how well you prepare your children for the arrival of a new baby, it can still be a shock. Although they react in different ways, they want to feel included, secure and paid attention to.

Getting them involved early

Introducing a young child to their new sibling can be a special moment. They may be feeling excited, curious but also worried. They may be worried that they are going to be replaced or not special anymore. These feelings are natural as it is a big change for them to process.

It can really help to involve the child as early as possible and allow them to be a part of the pregnancy as much as possible. Encouraging them to talk to the baby bump can help them form a relationship with the baby. Sharing the pregnancy weekly milestones can help them feel a part of this too. Ask your child to help with the shopping for baby clothes, equipment and furniture and they may want to buy the new baby a present. It also may help to buy an additional gift from the baby to their new big brother or sister.

The moment they meet

When you bring the baby home, keep the atmosphere calm and positive, encouraging gentle interactions like touching the baby's hand or talking softly to them and this can help them foster a bond with the baby. They can give the baby their special gift and get one back! Involve them in the nappy changes or feeding times so they feel a part of it rather than pushed out. Encourage the wider family to take your child out if they need some time out of the home for a few hours.

Handling their emotions

It is common for children to regress back to younger behaviours such as bedwetting, not sleeping, etc and this may be how they manage the adjustment. Deal with their feelings and carve out some special one to one time with them so they do not feel left out. Give them lots of hugs and kisses so they know how much you love and care for them. If your children are at reading stage, consider getting books about siblings from the library.

Published March 2025
Published by Family Lives